You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
