there's paper in my vomit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
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Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
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Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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