redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
