I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
