Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
