I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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