I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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