I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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