just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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