i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize