Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
