So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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