I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
