you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
