after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
