it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
