I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
