I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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