Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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