the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
