I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
