i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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