Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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