You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
