i don't like sucking hair
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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