Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
only if we run a train.
done.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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