The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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