The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
