I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
