That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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