I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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