wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
