Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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