physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
