so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
