why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
