Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.

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  (845): I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach. http://tfl.nu/7dp2
  Replies (34) Good night (1381) Bad night (5247)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it

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  (914): i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it http://tfl.nu/9xaf
  Replies (36) Good night (7087) Bad night (1294)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.

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  (541): I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god. http://tfl.nu/ci1f
  Replies (10) Good night (6329) Bad night (951)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.

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  (570): I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking. http://tfl.nu/bpgb
  Replies (68) Good night (4515) Bad night (2194)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack

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  (203): you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack http://tfl.nu/hvnz
  Replies (6) Good night (3219) Bad night (1072)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.

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  (248): Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it. http://tfl.nu/o1jt
  Replies (8) Good night (4061) Bad night (1240)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.

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  (250): I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me. http://tfl.nu/it3h
  Replies (3) Good night (1005) Bad night (735)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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  (919): Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom http://tfl.nu/af7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1647) Bad night (439)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME

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  (541): next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME http://tfl.nu/v34b
  Replies (3) Good night (1147) Bad night (470)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.

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  (541): Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/2v18
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (322)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Worth it.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth

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  (617): All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless (508): Worth it. (617): I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth http://tfl.nu/dnz7
  Replies (11) Good night (1046) Bad night (625)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter

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  (807): i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter http://tfl.nu/p7cr
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (468)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Heaven. . It would look like heaven

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  (727): Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together? (813): Heaven. . It would look like heaven http://tfl.nu/645f
  Replies (5) Good night (735) Bad night (357)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.

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  (814): Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked. http://tfl.nu/rs7h
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (589)
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  (916): View more from California

  An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.

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  (916): An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES. http://tfl.nu/fy5b
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (221)

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