Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip