I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!