Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  If I go to jail what happens to my debt?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  You dont have to pay it.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to jail.

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  (908): If I go to jail what happens to my debt? (1-908): You dont have to pay it. (908): I'm going to jail. http://tfl.nu/9by4
  Replies (2) Good night (1490) Bad night (519)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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  (405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her http://tfl.nu/rds9
  Replies (20) Good night (1052) Bad night (1912)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??

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  (573): Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B?? http://tfl.nu/t2no
  Replies (21) Good night (3542) Bad night (877)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!

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  (870): At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins! http://tfl.nu/8m62
  Replies (19) Good night (5782) Bad night (599)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings

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  (414): saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings http://tfl.nu/clzp
  Replies (13) Good night (2932) Bad night (4810)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

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  (204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head. http://tfl.nu/a92s
  Replies (25) Good night (4664) Bad night (1058)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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  (973): i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun. http://tfl.nu/edf8
  Replies (30) Good night (3518) Bad night (1568)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.

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  (215): Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day. http://tfl.nu/lmzq
  Replies (8) Good night (3358) Bad night (663)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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  (918): Whatever you gave me is making me lactate http://tfl.nu/rku9
  Replies (8) Good night (767) Bad night (2803)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight

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  (847): Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight http://tfl.nu/9jn8
  Replies (2) Good night (1921) Bad night (591)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR

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  (404): NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR http://tfl.nu/cqki
  Replies (21) Good night (838) Bad night (2421)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I feel like death gave me a hand job

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  (505): I feel like death gave me a hand job http://tfl.nu/81uy
  Replies (12) Good night (545) Bad night (1560)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I wholeheartedly concur

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  (907): There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail. (307): I wholeheartedly concur http://tfl.nu/eyej
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (305)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?

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  (303): He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery? http://tfl.nu/y325
  Replies (10) Good night (348) Bad night (728)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.

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  (319): I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/c71w
  Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (289)

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