Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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