Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i can juggle bunnies
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.