Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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