Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
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He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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