Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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