the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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