Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
