Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
