And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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