glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
