just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
