Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
