...so i touched it.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
ttyl tear gas
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just had sex on a roof
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
