Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
