i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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