They should really pass out barf bags in church
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
