Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
