her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
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This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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