Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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