Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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