My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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