u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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