so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
