doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
