I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My bed smells like the plague
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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