perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
