Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
