Pappa wants mamma naked
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
